“Traditions vs Rules”
First, I want to thank Victoria at Artsy and Ambitious for inspiring this post. Her post on her dating do’s and don’ts was funny and fascinating, especially when she said that her dating style was made up of “traditions” and not “rules”.
I like that. I’m not a rules person. I let a barber give me the same fade he’d just given his son, then bought platform heels and push up bras. I’m something of an agnostic who reads my daughter Bible stories every night because Jesus is her homeboy and I respect that. I have a shelf full of writing books that I never read because I really want to get my story down my way. If I had dating rules, I’d just break them. However, I do have preferences. I’ll first-date anybody without an extensive criminal record, but I’ve discovered some traits that make a man second-date-able.
The Four T’s: How To Get The Second Date
- Talkative: let’s take an idea and twist it around. Let’s disagree. Let’s do research. Nerdy as hell, but I love when a man looks something up on his computer or phone, just to add to our conversation. Makes me feel like he cares about my opinions and isn’t trying to rush through the date and to the bedroom.
- Transparent: what did you do today? Where do you work? Who do you live with? Liars need not apply.
- Tall(ish): I’m 5’9″. I need us to stand face to face. Seriously, I dated a short dude who wouldn’t let me hug him or hold his hand because we looked that odd together. And it makes impromptu kissing much easier! Real talk, I came across a beautiful man on OkCupid. Liquid eyes, six figure income (or so he said), funny profile. And I thank him for disclosing his height. I’d have been pissed if we’d actually taken the trouble to meet up.
- Touchy-feely: Wait, um…I’m not sure I like that. I do like holding hands, kissing, all that, but I have to be the initiator at first. I truly hate when a man tries to cop a feel. How old are we? You’ve never seen a nice, thick thigh before? Dude, stop patting me. I’ll reach for your hand if I want it.
So that’s me. If you’re dating, what are you looking for? Do you have rules/traditions/a list, and how closely do you follow it? If you’re coupled up, did you have a list in your dating days? Did your partner fit the criteria, or did they entice you in a different way? As usual, thanks for reading and commenting!